Saturday, August 2, 2008

the maze

We've only been in Dallas one week, and it's been a crazy one! I feel like I'm in a maze. I turn one corner, think I'm getting somewhere, then hit a dead end...go back a few steps, try another route, hit another dead end, etc.
Yesterday was supposed to be my second appointment with the doctor at the clinic. He was going to meet with me in the hallway since I can't go into the offices there. I'd been waiting about 30 minutes when I started smelling something in the hallway too! I ended up sitting in front of the elevator while my mom had the appointment with the doctor. It actually worked out pretty well I think. My mom took notes on everything he said for me. Basically he recommended a few things I could do, but said to try those and then come back to the clinic in a few months and see if I can tolerate being in the offices then. So even though we were discouraged that there's nothing else they can do for me at the clinic at this time, at least we had some other options to try. BUT then as we've been researching the things he recommended, they don't look like good things for me to do.
So then I spent some talking with other patients about different doctors and felt like I could try a couple of them, UNTIL we talked to a few other people and found out more about those doctors. I know all this sounds rather nebulous, it's hard to explain, but apparently several of the doctors people are recommending might be dangerous in a spiritual sense. At least two of them say they can see energy fields or auras around people. That right there scared me enough to say, No thanks! I really had no idea that this kind of thing had creeped into the medical field so much. It's sad too. People aren't getting help from normal doctors, so they're desperate and willing to try anything.
Anyway, I praise the Lord for protecting me so far from actually having an appointment with one of these doctors. It's hard to know what to do next though. I'm still waiting to see if Dr. Johnson can get me in earlier than the 13th. If not, I was hoping to have something else to try this week, but we'll just have to see what the Lord brings up. Even though I feel like I'm in this maze, getting nowhere, I know He is in control and has a purpose even in all the 'wrong turns.'
Yesterday when I was waiting for my mom at the clinic, another patient asked if I was ok. She was very interesting. She said she was a Christian, but she also talked about having a few drinks, and she smelled like cigarette smoke. She was really sweet though and starting encouraging me to have faith. I was very humbled that God would send me such an unlikely encourager. I felt like I should have been the one witnessing to and encouraging her, but there she was reaching out to me. It was just the expression of God's grace that I needed to get my attitude back on track. God is so kind and merciful to us weak creatures. As Psalm 103 says, "He knows that we are dust." Yet His love is higher than the heavens! Praise His name!
So after we left the clinic yesterday I was still feeling pretty toxic. We ended up going out to this park by the lake that we found the other day. It was so nice to breathe fresh air and just watch the water with the Dallas skyline in the background. There's nothing like God's beautiful creation to restore a right perspective on life. =)
I hope when Monday comes and we have to make more decisions about what to do, that I'll remember that the one who takes care of the birds (and the squirrels) is taking care of me too.
Thanks for your prayers!
Keep following Him through the maze. =)
-Joanna

1 comment:

Gapper Nest said...

Father, thank You that You do take care of the birds and the ravens. Psalm 147:9 says, "He giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which cry." We ask that you would meet Joanna's need. All the raven can do to get his food is cry out for his need and you provide it. We cry out to you for Joanna's health. Please hear us. The raven has no soul, Joanna does. The raven is not a pretty bird, he is not valued, and is actually pretty annoying. We, also, are not pretty because of our being marred by sin. But, surely you delight in meeting our needs more than the raven's, we are made in Your image. You invite us to come to You with our needs, the raven comes uninvited. Our prayers come to You through Christ himself, the raven's do not. If it is nothing more than the fact that the cries of the raven are more fervent, we pray that you would see our desperation and hear the many who are lifting their souls to you, bringing these cries to You for Joanna's salvation from this sickness. Father, Joanna is meeting some who are seeking and finding a measure of relief from the powers of demonic-influenced doctors. Please have mercy and display Your miraculous power by healing Joanna, showing all those around her that You are the one true God. Please do what you did in Acts 4, "13 Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated and untrained men, they marveled. And they realized that they had been with Jesus. 14 And seeing the man who had been healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it." Please grant Joanna continued boldness to preach in such a way that people will see that she has been with Jesus. Heal her so that when she preaches no one will be able to say anything against her Gospel preaching. Amen.

**Content of prayer pertaining to ravens taken from C.H. Spurgeon "Power in Prayer"